Should I Marry my Live in Boyfriend ?
This is the very first in a series of blogs which are written with at least one case history in mind. We never give real names or details that can help anyone to work out who we are writing about. But the actual situation is true, and it may be one that has been presented to us many times, we would love to hear your comments below, as to what you think this woman should do. And please feel free to enjoy the other blogs that we put in the future along the same lines. The people who read these blogs are often looking for advice and guidance and understanding even if the blog was not based on them.
Claire is 32 and has been living with her boyfriend / partner David, who is 34, for three years. They get on well , have plenty in common, are keen on each other, have a good sex life, are on the same wave length, have similar backgrounds, like each other's sense of humour and share the same values and ideas about othe future. The only thing they do not agree on is this..... Her guy David wants them to get married, he says it would mean that she has proved she loves him as much as he loves her, but Claire is not wanting to get married. She is very happy with things as they are, she sees no reason to change it, she cannot imagine a future without David but she also believes that if she is promising to be with him forever then she is telling him that he has permission to take her for granted, to change, to be lazy, to be less likeable in the future. She thinks it is wrong that anyone makes such a promise and is held to it when people can change, things can change, and she would rather be with a man who is willing to continue to make her happy and please her - with the reward being that she stays with him for a long time.
Claire has seen couples who were quite happy together break up after getting married. She has seen them take one another for granted. She has seen men get bored because they see the woman as now being just a wife instead of a desirable sexy girlfriend. She does not want to take the chance that changing her title from girlfriend and partner to wife might cause their relationship to go wrong.
Claire has seen men getting bored with feeling tied down and flirting and trying to cheat on their wives, and being more likely to stay faithful if they are dating their girlfriend still.
Claire has seen a lot.
It scares her.
David thinks she is being daft.
Claire's family and friends do not interfere or give an opinion. They think it is entirely up to the couple to decide.But what do you do when one wants to get married and the other does not?
Your comments please...